Sunshine Coast holistic healing

5 Things NOT to say to someone #ttc

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Where do I honestly begin.. #ttc is hard enough as it is without the un wanted comments that although people think is helping but sometimes they actually hurt more than they realise!

This blog is mainly for the people who haven’t had to go through a long trying to conceive journey with infertility and look I’m honestly so happy you haven’t had to cause the dreaded monthly reminder of possibly getting your period month after month of trying to conceive is down right depressing.

Want to help your friend, family member or even a complete stranger when making small talk about their struggle of trying to conceive then this blog for YOU.


What NOT to say to someone when they are #ttc


1 “It will happen when the time is right”

Seriously my MOST hated comment and the reason for that is there is people in the world who don’t want to be pregnant… yet the time is right for them you’d say??. I personally find this comment really hurtful for the very reason being we wouldn’t be trying to conceive IF we weren’t ready for another baby knowing the time is in fact right. Just don’t say it. Enough said.

2 “Stop stressing and relax”

Wow where to begin on this one. I am stressed cause I’ve been trying to conceive for 3 years, My kids are getting older and that bloody clock is tick tick ticking away with the years. This comment is very common and although it may seem harmless this comment brings us STRESS. Trying to conceive with infertility struggles is always going to be stressful SO instead of making this comment take the Woman out for a coffee! buy her some bloody flowers for god sake and make her life that little bit LESS stressful an make her relaxed yourself without saying a thing.


3 “Try and stop thinking about it so much”

Ohhhh you have no idea. From the moment you and your partner decide to create a new life it is literally all you can think about! You start noticing pregnant Women EVERYWHERE! I’m not kidding I’m a bloody magnet to pregnant Women. Im dreaming about my future baby, I jump at the opportunity to hold a newborn, When I’m reading credits at the end of a movie I’m picking out my favourite names and then every month I’m anxiously waiting for a positive test (which are expensive as fuck) or my dreaded period. Sorry Karen! I can’t stop thinking about it even if I tried.


4 “Have you thought to Adopt?”

As much as I would love to Adopt have you actually looked into the process of Adopting in Australia or the world for that matter??? No? Well I have and for Adoption its a minimum 2-3 year process and with already 3 years under my belt #ttc I physically and mentally couldn’t especially with no guarantee. If someone is considering adoption PLEASE let them be the one to bring up the conversation and not you thinking it will be the cure for their infertility.


5 “I’m Pregnant”

Hahah this is a tough one and I wondered if I should or shouldn’t include this but I wanted to make a point about the statement and not about the person #ttc hating on people cause they are pregnant. Look we seriously couldn’t be more stoked for you because any new life is such an absolute blessing but sometimes hearing this news from people especially when they make the remark “We weren’t even trying too!” is a kick in our empty wombs. Its tough. We are stoked for you but please don’t be surprised if some Women who are trying to conceive take a step back for a bit from you. Don’t ask them stupid questions like “How does me being pregnant make you feel? it must be hard to hear?” Yep! I’ve been asked this before… Just don’t hey.

Just be respectful in the way you share your happy news with people who are struggling to conceive.


Trying to conceive is physically and emotionally draining process especially if it isn’t going to plan so next time you are having a conversation about #ttc with someone who has been trying for a while keep these comments left out of the conversation because that Woman has enough on her plate then comments that will constantly play on her mind.

Be kind and be respectful.



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  • My favourite is; “Well, you’ve already had one, so of course it will be easier this time around!” Ah no, Susan. Still facing the same issues this time around. Thanks for your support though 🙄
    I really hope this is your month, Bron 💖

    Jacqui on
  • You should also add “oh well you at least you have one” to the list.

    Nicole Jones on
  • This info should be printed and handed out! like seriously they should put it on the back of toilet doors so next time your out with the girls they are reminded what ‘not to say’ especially when they’ve had a few to many and have this dying need to share their worldly advice about so and so’s friends ttc journey. Yes Karen I should just do what your sisters bestfriends cousin did…… 🙄

    Sarina Bradshaw on
  • I agree my husband and I have heard all of these we’ve been trying for two years. Some even from my only family. Had a misscarraige and lost twin girls due to premie birth at 23 weeks in July last year. After some complications we are ttc again. I’m hoping this is our month.

    Lesley Ann on
  • I hear you. Although I didnt struggle for 3 years, it was tough! I remember finding out my friend was pregnant who had only just started ttc and her daughter was only one and I burst into tears and was upset all day. I thought it was never going to happen again for us and felt like we had tried just about everything. After 3 previous pregnancies that happened so easily it was so tough every month ro feel like something must be wrong with me this time because it wasn’t happening st all. I really feel for those going through this and i never know what to say now xx

    Ellen Moselen on

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